Double Java

Today was a two cups of coffee day. I just can't figure out little Brady. While Seth is a mini-me who loves structure, routine, cleanliness, and sleep, Brady just goes with the flow. He has no schedule, no routine, no patterns of behavior for me to easily memorize, no real preferences. He naps when he's tired. He eats when he's hungry. He sleeps all night...mostly. He is stretching me every day to just RELAX. This is not a new idea. Besides Shaun, my friend Ariel is constantly urging me to chillax. This message is a lot more effective when coming from a five-month-old. You just can't ignore a human that communicates by crying, screaming, grunting, and just being darn cute all the rest of the time. (not that Ariel and/or Shaun are not darn cute on any given day) This morning, Brady decided to mix things up and woke up hungry before 6:00 AM. With as much patience as I could muster, I made him a bottle, changed his diaper (with assistance from Shaun who was already up), and put him back to bed. He lay there peacefully and was completely quiet as I trudged back to my room and crawled under the covers. His silence was broken fifteen minutes later by shrill screaming as though I had never fed him. I didn't even get up for a few minutes because I didn't know what to do for him when I got in there. I ended up just sitting with him in his rocking chair, both of us silent while he put his little fingers on my face, the chair, and the little tree beside the chair. After he yawned a few times, I put him back in his crib, and he slept peacefully until 10:15! I don't know. He was peaceful and easygoing the rest of the day. Sometimes it seems that the harder I try to just "go with the flow," the more intense the flow becomes. I want to be in control so badly, that I'm willing to just take each day "easy breezy" as long as I can control the speed of the wind. I thank God for how he uses both of my boys to challenge me in very different ways. I thank Him for Seth's humor and zest and for Brady's gentleness and warmth. And I thank him for coffee, because I don't know what I would do without it.